It was a good weekend and I was able to finish the IVIG treatment without a major migraine. (Also, both myself and Toddler were no longer dealing with sinus infections.) We were finally back on top of our mountain.
It's nice up on that mountain. We haven't been on that mountain in almost a month.
That was Monday, yesterday. About 21 hours from right now.
Right now, we're back in the valley.
It's muggy, humid, and hot and it makes me have the "stress sweat" that those Degree Deodorant commercials talk about (it's a real thing for those of you who are confused).
Toddler and I both woke up grumpy as can be. The AC didn't kick on and we woke up because we were hot. Sure, it was only 74 degrees in the house, but to us (I have a medical reason and she's two) that's SUPER uncomfortable. But, I handled it. I got her up, grabbed a cool towel, turned on the AC, grabbed a fan, and my mommy game was strong.
I was on a detour on my mountain, but still there hanging out.
Then I got the voice mail from a bank all (allllllll) the way in Delaware , saying that I needed to call back right away because my bank account was being hacked.
??? (WHAT?!)
I've never been to Delaware. I'm not even sure where Delaware is, to be honest.
I called the bank back exclaiming (trying to maintain some composure with cranky Toddler clawing at my face the one time I'm on the phone), that "I have never been to Delaware," "I have no account there," "Heck-NO! I'm not giving you my social security number over the phone because I don't know you," etc etc etc... for almost an hour.
Through all of this, I was still trying to hang on to that mountain top. Trying desperately to cling to that happy-high, while my wheelchair was being pushed to the edge.
But then I forgot to check the weather forecast before going outside. And if you have Multiple Sclerosis, one of the more common issues a lot of us deal with is good 'ol heat sensitivity . For me, exposure to a hot shower often leaves me more weakened than I was before the shower, which isn't a big deal because I shower before bed and Husband is always willing to help me out (he's a cool guy).
But Michigan's heat is a nasty, heavy, humid heat that makes my body (brain, mouth, vision, etc.) go haywire.
I could tell and feel that things were going downhill. My thoughts weren't as clear, I couldn't talk, I stuttered, I was a mess and the more I realized this, the worse everything became. Part of me hopes that others saw it as well, because I hope I don't appear that way on a good day/moment (#realTalk).
With everything that happened, in the valley or on the mountain top, the one thing I need to remember, remember, remember (like how I breathe and blink) is, God is there both high and low.
One of my favorite song lyrics from the song, Hope Now ... "how quickly I forget I'm Yours" (by Addison Road).
I'm sitting here freaking out and praying, "God, I seriously am NOT in the mood for all this today. Yesterday was such a good day , I haven't had a good day in such a long time and "poof" it's gone. GAHHHHHHH!!!!"
And the truth is, I know that whether I am on a mountain top or deep within a Michigan-style humid valley, God is right there.
I know that regardless of my previous day or how I feel that morning, I must start every by thanking God for a new day, for the strength that I have, for the mobility I have, for the home I have, for all the blessings I have. I must learn to always lean on Him to get me through the good and bad.
I know all of this, but I quickly I forget who's I am and who I am. Anyone else like that?
Each day is a new day with its own gunk. Sometimes it's leftover gunk mixed in with the new, some days the gunk pops up from a random bank in Delaware (I need to find a map).
I can never know what these temporal days will hold, but I do know that I'm not walking (or rolling) alone.
Life lessons are learned everyday through everything. Stop putting stock in feelings (happy or not), but put it all down for a God who never changes. (#truth)
(Rocking my cooling vest to bed tonight.)
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